We’ve all been there. Someone enters the room and instantly lights it up. You start to wonder if they’re famous, or someone who maybe should be famous, because damn, you’re just drawn to their star-like energy. That, gents, is called charisma. It can make you more likeable, more dynamic, more powerful even. It can open doors. And here’s 10 ways you can have more of it.
1. Make yourself relatable
This is hugely important. When you’re speaking to others, try to come across as someone who they can see themselves in – the last thing you want is to create any kind of ‘distance’ between you and them. Try mirroring techniques when in a conversation: using the same words as the other person, asking the right questions to find a common ground with everyone, and so forth.
2. Keep your nerves in check
Charismatic people are rarely nervous. It’s about having that all-important self-confidence, and some people just seem to be born with it. Managing your nerves, especially in high-pressure social settings, can be a bit of a skill, but it can definitely be mastered. The first step is to relax and tell yourself that whatever happens, however dumb/awkward/embarrassing, it won’t be the end of the world. The rest will just flow.
3. Talk about things you’re genuinely passionate about
If you’re not 100% interested in the things you’re saying, it’ll show. On the other hand, when you talk about a real passion, something that means a lot to you, your energy will shine through. Passion gives your voice power and conviction, and draws people in.
4. Be an excellent listener
Being a charismatic gentleman isn’t all about trumpeting your own awesome traits – you should make other people feel good about themselves too. In any conversation you’re in, make sure you always listen to what everyone else is saying. This way, people will come out of it knowing that you actually valued their thoughts. True charisma makes the other person feel important.
5. Showcase your wit and humour
The moment you make someone laugh or smile, you’ve hit the charm offensive jackpot. Since the start of time, humour and charisma have gone hand-in-hand – if you have a natural funny bone, bring it front and centre.
6. Express with your body
Standing stiff as a board isn’t being charismatic. Instead, use your body to subtly emphasise what you’re talking about – even small hand gestures can make you come across as more interesting and approachable. And always remember to smile.
7. But don’t fidget
No twiddling your thumbs, or playing with your phone, or constantly looking around to see what else is going on. Fidgeting tends to show others that you’re not entirely comfortable being there, that you’d rather be somewhere else, and that’s never a good look in a social setting.
8. Remember people’s names
Do this and you’ll have their attention in an instant, whether it’s a business situation or a personal one. It makes people feel important, which, as we’ve mentioned, is always a good thing.
9. Always be positive
Negative vibes stop charisma dead in its tracks. Things to avoid: criticising other people, being overly political, anything that makes things ‘heavy’ really. Rather, keep your focus on topics you love – a surefire way to engage people and make them want to be around you.
10. Look the part
It’ll get you far. Trust us.
Looking at the man in the mirror and wishing for change? Here’s how to become a more interesting gentleman.