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Issue 31
Five London pubs that changed London pubs
From Michelin-winning boozers to Guinness-fuelled institutions, these five pubs redefined the modern London local without losing its soul.
By Gentleman's Journal
Five foods and drinks that people only pretend to like
- Natural wine
- Oysters
- Padron peppers
- Truffles
- IPAs
Words By Joseph Bullmore
It’s Negroni week, which is great fun if you’re a big fan of the taste of melted-down plimsolls and early-onset hangovers. As far as I’m concerned, the negroni craze of the last ten years is a psy-op by Big Orange Peel. Or an industrial complex propped up by chaps who have been to Florence twice and have no intention of remembering their dinner later. It’s three types of heavy alcohol in one, and is clever in that it really tastes like it, too. If you invented it today, people would think they were being pranked for a hidden camera show instead of drinking it with large-format olives and saying “buonasera” a lot.
Here are five more things that I’m pretty sure people are only really pretending to like.
1. Natural wine
Notes of soil, unrequited love, metal coins, and that bottle of Sherry from 1983 that we discovered in my grandmother’s pantry after the funeral. £16 a glass, but at least it comes with a free tote bag to vomit into on the redeye back from Clapton.
2. Oysters
A thrilling dance with gastroenteritis conducted with a phlegmy rock that tastes, at best, like that time you got swept under a wave at the Polzeath surfclub as an eight year old and thought you might be dying. But it’s okay — you’re not meant to chew them!
Only good as a vehicle for more Chablis.
3. Padron peppers
Comprised, against the laws of physics, of over 110% oil, leavened only by rocks of salt big enough to give you instant mouth ulcers, and horribly mushy and lifeless the second they hit the silver platter in a gastropub in Camberwell that still thinks it’s 2014. Shall we get some for the table? Sure!
4. Truffles
Would you like a dozen dismembered moth wings sprinkled over your delicious and otherwise unimprovable cacio e pepe, signore? Only if you charge me an additional £45, my friend!
5. IPAs
Tastes like a weekday hangover feels, and solely propped up by the sort of chap who really, honestly could have been the next Fred Again if only he wasn’t so damn good at email marketing, you know?
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