Welcome to the summer 2026 edition of the Gentleman’s Journal Naff Index — the snob’s equivalent of Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey, only with even more inexplicable American accents in the Mediterranean.
Here, then, is everything that is officially ghastly this summer. See you in Polzeath.
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City-specific pizza styles
Caesar wraps
Hydration breaks
Complaining about hydration breaks
Clapping at the end of The Odyssey
Zendaya and Tom Holland being in everything
The Cotswolds Industrial Complex
Celebrities starting alcohol brands
The over aestheticisation of tennis
The over aestheticsation of old Italian people
The over aestheticisation of Italian beach culture
Wedding caps
Books as status symbols
Colombe d’Or on your stories
Golf tops in Italy
Boat shots in Capri
Capri
Instagram chefs who lean in really close to the screen
Modern Hermes ties
Celebrities at Wimbledon
Everyone dressing like Jacob Elordi
Documenting your house renovations
Smash burger ubiquity
High-end soft serve
The late sitting at La Guerite
Beach clubs in general
Many, many members club
Most negronis
Restaurant merchandise
“This or nothing”
Being smug about having aircon
Slowing down for a cattle grid
Appearing on each others’ podcasts
‘These are the summer destinations the 1% don’t want you to find out about’
Kent
