The Diary: Gentleman's Journal Royal Ascot Lunch 2026

How many men does it take to open a nine litre bottle of Moët & Chandon? Even more than it takes to carry one, as it happens. Five game lads had fought to loose the cork from the beading salamanzar yesterday afternoon in Ascot’s roasting Royal Enclosure — before one Harry Jarman, editor-in-chief and arch host, finally took charge and launched the great stopper into the air like an artillery shell, almost winging a charming pensioner from the Midlands in the process. Perhaps such action man antics were encouraged by his entrance in a commandeered helicopter earlier that morning with David Tollemache and George Blandford; or maybe by the highly fortifying lunch of cold lobster, good roast beef, and excellent caviar blinis that all had enjoyed at what is quickly becoming the most envied/booed lunch in all of Number One Car Park.

Despite the dry lawns, it was a heavily watered affair. Whispering Angel, as usual, provided the pink stuff, Noam did sterling work on the beers, while Moët themselves got things started at 11.30 sharp with those clever little bottles which you can chug without projecting foam from your nose like a morning-suited dragon. Adding to the fun of the occasion was a beautiful 1990s Bentley Azure which was parked at a jaunty angle next to the table, quickly becoming The World’s Most Expensive Hat Rack in the process. Meanwhile, the World’s Most Expensive Hat (possibly) belonged to co-hosts Swaine, London’s premier luxury leathergoods company, who unveiled an outrageously pretty golden silk number from their archives for a few photographs — before swiftly stealing it away as the remoulade flowed. Jo Malone, meanwhile, kept things beautifully fragrant with some lovely gifted candles. Soon, Konrad Kay and Mickey Down of Industry genius did a quick photoshoot for our next cover story in the front of the convertible with some truncheon-like cigars, before everyone piled into the enclosure proper for some highly mixed results at the racing. Win or lose, however, guests — including Jonah Hauer-King, Stanley Zhu, Darnell Strom, the Marchioness of Blandford, Noah Sapon, Jemima Tollemache, Monty Corry, Harry Syder, Greta Clementi, Ashley Deverell, Vincent Perriard and Terence McMenamin — all flooded back to the carpark for an afternoon tea of jam scones and Marlboro Touches, before the chopper blades stirred the champagne tower again and the rest clambered for the last Uber out of Saigon. Still, always tomorrow. And Friday. And Saturday, actually.