What not to do at your office Christmas party

Keep your drinks few, your trousers buckled and your behind unphotocopied

The office Christmas party is fraught with problems – and tinsel. Only a select, lucky few can count their co-workers amongst their friends, so the majority of us will rarely party with our deskmates.

However, when we do, it’s important to remember the do’s and don’ts of the office party. So let’s quickly run through what you should be doing – and what you definitely shouldn’t.

Dress appropriately

For office parties in your actual office, many people will want to change out of the suits and ties they’ve been wearing all day. But, when you emerge from the gents after donning a new seasonal outfit, you don’t want all eyes on your horrendous novelty outfit.

A christmas sweater or novelty tie is a big no-no. Steer clear of these cliches and instead opt for something a little more subtle, by ditching your suit jacket and throwing on a cashmere jumper instead. This way, you walk the fine smart-casual line perfectly – while still making a statement.

A christmas sweater or novelty tie is a big no-no

Don’t drink too much

The urge to pour a sneaky second hip flask-full of vodka into the punch bowl may be overwhelming, but try to restrain yourself. It may initially seem fun to see an entire office of your co-workers staggering about blind drunk, but when everyone inevitably embarrasses themselves, the New Year return will be viewed with fresh and intensified dread.

Instead, pace yourself, ration drinks and try to keep yourself on the cusp of tipsy. This way, you won’t have any issue swaying along to Shakin’ Stevens, but you also won’t be tempted to swing from the light fixtures.

Instead, pace yourself, ration drinks and try to keep yourself on the cusp of tipsy.

Don’t photocopy your arse

Another practice which will suddenly feel like a brilliant idea after one too many drinks, the ages-old act of dropping your trousers and photocopying your bare behind is one to be avoided.

Not only is office-based nudity never encouraged, but the act of sitting half naked on a piece of office equipment can only end in tears. Either you’ll be discovering the ill-fated photostat for years to come around the office, in binders, on notice boards or languishing in rarely-opened drawers, or you will end up breaking the machine – and have to explain that to your boss.

Don’t gossip

Gossip, like those photocopies of your naked rear, will stay around the office long into the New Year. Who said what about who will circulate around the office – creating tensions and backstabbing and grudges well into 2017.

Zip your lip, enjoy some mild-mannered, fun conversation, and try not to put your foot in it. Don’t talk about what you really think of your boss, your romantic intentions with your secretary or that you’ve thought about quitting – big reveals like that will haunt you.

Zip your lip, enjoy some mild-mannered, fun conversation, and try not to put your foot in it

Don’t hook up with anyone

Further Reading