Men’s Grooming: The Mistakes You Should Never Make

Sometimes what you don’t do in life, is as – if not more – important than what you do do. And this is no less important than when it comes to grooming. So as per usual, we are here to help you avoid the pitfalls of the modern gentleman’s minefield of grooming…

1. TOO MUCH AFTERSHAVE, There is nothing worse than a man who has overdone it on the cologne front, a spritz or 2 is quite enough to last all night (3 or 4 at a push) . If you aren’t much of numbers guy then we suggest you think about whether you’ve ever found yourself leaving a trail of Eau de whatever in your wake as you pass by strangers – yes? Then you’ve probably over done it. No one wants an assault on their nasal passage, a whiff is quite enough thanks.

2. OVER GROOMED EYEBROWS, You are not Jay from Geordie Shore, and nor should you wish to be. All other attributes aside, his eyebrows are outrageous. A pluck or subtle wax between the brows is fine, and some gentle grooming is quite alright, but channeling your inner Scouse Brow diva is a no no.

3. FACIAL HAIR, We are all for facial hair, but keep it well trimmed, full and evenly spread. No goatee’s, not bum fluff and absolutely NO Craig David facial snail-trails.

4. UNCUT/DIRTY FINGER NAILS, Clean and cut your finger nails regularly – it’s not rocket science, it’s common hygiene. Simple as that. If you missed this lesson in childhood, then try taking a trip up the M1 and stop by any number of the motor-way service stations on your way – all of which have taken the liberty of helpfully providing illustrated tutorials on exactly the correct way to wash your hands in almost all of their washrooms.

5. TOO MUCH HAIR PRODUCT, Unless the sleazy Euro-look circa 1988 is something you aspire too, it’s best to stick to the rule of ‘less is more’. By all means style and shape, but the wet-look didn’t work on the Backstreet Boys, and sure as hell doesn’t work on you now.

6. IGNORING EAR & NOSE HAIR, There comes a time in a mans life, gentlemen, when hair begins to sprout from pretty much every orifice – generally speaking with no prior warning. Aside from the realms we’d rather avoid today, the ears and nose can be the worst offenders. Invest in a nose trimmer or start visiting a salon pronto.

7. FORGOING MOISTURISER, Repeat after us: It does not make me less manly if I moisturise. Got it? Good.

8. THE COMB-OVER THAT ISN’T FOOLING ANYONE, If you are balding (as 90% of all men will eventually be doing), then don’t try and cover it up. You’re not fooling anyone. The comb-over merely draws more attention to it. Instead, take 5, come to terms with the inevitable fate of your once luscious locks, and think about going shorter. We’re looking at you, Donald.

By Holly Macnaghten Twitter @HollyMacnaghten