Little Things Guaranteed To Ruin A Gentleman’s Day

Mondays suck, that’s a given, Tuesday mornings aren’t much better either now we think about it, but there are some things simply guaranteed to ruin a gentleman’s day – even on a weekend. You know what we’re talking about, those random acts of God or pure bad luck that turn a regular day into the worst of all days. Here are a few of those things, gentlemen…

– Waking up feeling manly and virile, then shaving and being greeted by your prepubescent 14 year old self in the mirror.

– Cutting yourself shaving and then forgetting to remove the tiny piece of loo roll you used to stop it bleeding, having already received several odd or sympathetic looks on the tube, the bus and in the elevator up to the 28th floor of your office.

– When you only realise that the barista gave you the wrong coffee once you’ve exited the 20 minute long queue and are sat back at your desk.

– Rushing through the barriers of the underground only to be stopped by the person in front who moronically forgot to top up their oyster card.

…you are that moronic person.

– Offering someone your seat on public transport only to be looked at with the kind of gratitude reserved for someone whose first born you have just killed.

– Finally realising that your best tailored suit is just that tiny bit too snug, after the button has popped off en route to a first date or job interview.

– Waking up to discover via social media that your ex is now engaged and you are still, by all accounts, decidedly single.

– Finally buying the convertible you’ve always wanted, only for it to rain the entire summer.

– Turning on the tap to wash your hands, but the water splashes back out at you and makes you look like you’ve wet yourself.

– Getting to your favourite lunch spot only to discover that they are completely out of your ‘usual’.

– Wearing your new suede shoes the one day in the week that it rains.

– Spilling something on your just-washed-crisp-white -shirt moments before an important meeting or date.

– Opening a bottle of red that you’ve been saving for a special occasion, only to discover that it is corked.