How to date a woman who’s younger than you

What can make you more attractive than your younger rivals?

Some of the most powerful men in the world have managed to attract women half their age. Take supermodel (and ex-wife of Mick Jagger), Jerry Hall, who married media magnate Rupert Murdoch after a four-month whirlwind romance. Hall is 59, Murdoch is 84. This will be the Murdoch’s 4th marriage. Murdoch’s previous wife Wendy Deng is only 49. So, aside from the comfortable networth of $12.4 billion, how did he do it?

If you yourself are planning on doing a Murdoch (with 25 years’ difference), Rod Stewart (he’s 26 years older than his wife), Olivier Sarkozy (17 years older than his) and dating a lady considerably younger than yourself, there are a few things you need to know first. Because when it comes to cross-generation dating, the devil is most definitely in the detail…

First things first, know your audience. What makes you more attractive than your younger rivals?

Don't think that she wants immaturity

In most cases, an higher age means more maturity. And more often than not that’s what a girl looks for in a man. Don’t try and dumb yourself down to sound like guys her age, that’s not why she’s with you. Instead, act your age and keep her on her toes – in the best way possible.

Self-assuredness is of course something that comes with time. I think most of my female friends would agree that even though a man may be a few years out of university, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s grown up or responsible. Lad culture takes a long time to die.

Own up to your responsibilites

With maturity comes responsibility, and girls love a guy who can take responsibility. Younger gentlemen don’t have the same prospects of stability and self-assurance as the older man. Chances are, the older gent has a home, a mortgage and less of a ‘live month-to-month’ approach to his salary.

A younger guy isn’t too interested on being serious or settling down, but if you’re older and she’s with you, chances are she’s looking for these things and assumes you are, too. It might not have been wholly proven yet, but for biological reasons alone women do have, shall we say, a slight inclination to be more responsible than men the same age as them. So younger women dating older men technically makes quite a lot of sense.

If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve got a couple of illegitimate children running around somewhere, or you have a huge mortgage to pay off, tell her. She will most likely be expecting something like this to come up, and hiding it isn’t going to do you any favours.

Learn the boundaries

If you read the paragraph about Murdoch, Sarkosy and Stewart, you probably spotted one common theme: all of these gentlemen are incredibly wealthy. Within any huge age gap, you’re bound to get judged. People are going to assume the worst. Why would she be with someone 20 years her senior when she could be with someone her own age? Don’t let the haters get to you, gentlemen. If it’s other guys doing the talking, they’re jealous. If it’s girls, they just want to be with you.

Instead, avoid stereotyping be making sure you split the bill, holidays, homes. This issue is unavoidable and definitely not exclusive to relationships where there is a big age gap. Who pays for what is common ground anywhere, and whether that causes an imbalance in a relationship is well-trodden ground. In most scenarios you should play it by ear. There is no hard and fast rule.

And don't become her 'Sugar Daddy'

This is very simple. If the relationship is based around a financial transaction rather than a romantic one, and you’re paying for your squeeze’s higher education, rent or nights out with the girls, then you are, dear Sir, a Sugar Daddy. Each to their own.

Never patronise her

Sure, she might be a good decade younger than you, but that doesn’t mean that her feelings, thoughts or ideas are any less important. Never pawn something off or brush it to the side because she’s younger and therefore you don’t think it’s important. Instead, remember that you were once her age, and what’s important to her now was once important to you, too.

Never start a sentence with ‘when I was your age’, ‘you wouldn’t remember it when that single/film/book came out…’ – she knows you’re older, she’s dating you. There’s nothing more irritating to a girl than being patronised and this is absolutely not the way to keep her. Instead, use your maturity and your wealth of worldly knowledge to charm her socks off.

Further Reading