Before you get your backs up; we know — arguing of any kind can’t really be considered gentlemanly. But, although you may not like it, these conflicts and confrontations should be a part of your daily life. If they’re not, then you’re living life too safely. After all, a couple of ruffled feathers prove that you’re making an impression.
And, so long as you’re not initiating these sparring sessions, it still pays to have a couple of barbed and well-chosen retorts in your back pocket. This way, you can shut down any argument as quickly — and quietly — as possible. So have a read, and commit a couple of these civilised slights and snubs to memory. You’ll thank us later.
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/9a05a26db61f92542da6e16240d0bb9d8b95ef4a-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/e7e88a0965358011243776e333b81ca3d508c98f-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/b660f7e9efe24a3fae7a6945cbc31128a5e5ebd3-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
You are proof that God has a sense of humour
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/f633a1d51999034ee272ae4a4f61bbacbeede762-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/3007501caa3b1370e800048f0dcd970c6dd1ab2e-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/78441c0d7ce1c2648bead58209c595ac480c8768-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
In the land of the witless, you would be king
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/1c277c95fc11847abe06c3b016a70c781688586f-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I’d prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/983359092c6a64121f0cf380f1e1ce2165887f02-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/4857c6e9f0adf59b0027f3dce37f3ed255d3b809-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
You sir, are the reason god created the middle finger
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/61eeb52420291e2d367c89bda5b0f6e407b3ac0c-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
Sometimes I need what only you can provide, your absence
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/596ef09ac403da796a55cd4d38238399b1fdabf8-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
Your inferiority complex is fully justified
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/d56f791e22470da6644277f8ab14782362924c3c-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
You have delusions of adequacy
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/fe0e77c5b22a99eb42b9fc582fccf7cf592727eb-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I’ve been called worse things by better people
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/4305889514f43eac4a6b9c4dea636e5da1640e67-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/fe203ab65c27199841f4e66633382f6362c9917f-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I like the way you try
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/ce2167d98db2252de34fdfd3ea885df7073b4956-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
It is impossible to underestimate you
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/92a9f1b5bd0aba310a1bafd34831bae3b234f0e1-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/1dc214d51ef1312934f20e4126397bb50a900413-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
Isn’t it rather dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/0f09c239e25ca948c3a63291adef72dfeaf6522c-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
The fact that nobody understands you doesn’t make you an artist
![best insults](https://cdn.sanity.io/images/vxy259ii/production/c2d2cb767041ce1be40dafb5c20c27a70ad19490-2700x1800.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&q=75&w=648)
I like your approach. Now let’s see your departure…
Want more etiquette advice? Here are 10 scientific ways to be more attractive to women…,
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