6 qualities women find most attractive in men

Whether it’s through gruelling gym sessions, intellectual refinement or wallet-slimming shopping sprees, droves of men are on an endless, excruciating mission to appear more interesting, desirable or attractive to the opposite sex. However, you may be making more mistakes in the dating department than you think.

Below, we’ve found seven (principally non-physical) qualities that women often find attractive in men. Happily, they disprove many of the tall-dark-and-handsome stereotypes many men have come to loathe. Instead, from a generous spirit to the power of approachability, here are a handful of the most alluring traits and characteristics every man should aim to embody…

A heartening start; it pays not to be too handsome. Of course, men blessed with symmetrical features, chiseled jaws and great hair will always score higher in the attractiveness stakes, but several studies have shown that women tend to be more attracted to approachable, average looks when looking for a long-term partner.

For shorter-term flings, a Florida State University study found, women are still likely to seek out stereotypically handsome men. But, if they’re looking for a relationship that’ll last, ordinary-looking gents have the edge. Researchers in 2017 explained the findings by suggesting that attractive men in peak physical condition can make women feel inferior, pushing them to diet or exercise to ‘keep up’.

In another happy revelation, it turns out that many women will still choose kind and considerate men over ‘bad boys’. In a 2016 study, led by the universities of Worcester and Sunderland, over 200 women were asked to assess a dozen online-dating profiles, and the majority preferred the more altruistic men over the traditionally handsome, but less generous, options.

It makes sense. Who’d want to be with a man who’s easy on the eyes if all those good looks were at the expense of any real decency? However, as with the ‘approachability’ findings above, women looking for a one-night stand will allegedly still prioritise attractiveness over benevolence — which, depending on your stance, is good news for monogamists; less so for budding playboys.

Worried that you might be ‘past it’? Gladly, your fears are unfounded. Several studies have discovered that women, of any generation, tend to prefer men a couple of years older than them. Dubbed ‘The George Clooney Effect’ by researchers, this hard-wiring is allegedly a legacy from our cave-dwelling days, when older men would have more resources, connections and respect.

In 2010, the University of Dundee put this theory to the test. 3,770 heterosexual adults were polled on a range of relationship indicators, and it was revealed that most women preferred older men — especially as they themselves grew older and developed financial independence.

Don’t act like you’re surprised about this one. For generations, women have been telling men that a sense of humour not only matters, but might even be the most important and attractive quality to possess.

Jeffrey Hall, a professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, published a paper in the journal Evolutionary Psychology in which he detailed a study that hinged around a series of blind-date-style tests. ‘Shared laughter,’ he wrote, ‘might be a pathway toward developing a more long-lasting relationship.’

We’re trying to steer clear of physical qualities here. After all, telling people that women find men over six-feet-tall more attractive (spoiler: they often do) isn’t going to help the shorter gents out there. But, bar the follically challenged, almost every adult man can grow some sort of facial hair — and a light beard can do wonders in the dating game.

In 2013, the University of New South Wales conducted some incredibly important research — to determine the optimum length of facial hair to attract women. Over 350 heterosexual women overwhelmingly came out in favour of a light beard or heavy stubble. Showing virility, maturity and traditional masculinity, it’s a pleasingly attainable level of scruff to aim for.

Not all risks, of course. There are certain levels of daredevilry that’ll get you noticed for the right reasons; but being cavalier with your health, or the safety of others for example, likely won’t get you a second date. In 2006, Evolutionary Psychology split risky activities into six categories: recreational, ethical, gambling, investing, health and social.

And, while the researchers discovered that most men overestimate how attractive risk-taking behaviour is, the study revealed that ‘recreational’ risks — whether this be skydiving or snowboarding — can turn the heads of women you’re looking to woo. Take note, gents, and finally book that bungee jump you’ve been putting off.

Want more etiquette advice? Here are 10 ways to make yourself more charismatic…