We’re a long way from the 1950s and the era where the act of merely taking a cigarette out of the packet made you the coolest guy in the room. So far, in fact, that last year the number of smokers in England dropped to an all-time low, with only one in six adults now lighting up on a daily basis. Smoking is expensive, it stinks, and you get cold while you do it. Mark our words: 2017 will be the year smoking officially becomes uncool and here’s why:

1. Less than 1% of people actually think lighting up is cool. So you’re actually not really impressing as many people as you think you are when you do…
2. It stinks
3. You have to go outside when you want one and even then there are still limited places to light up
4. It’s expensive, really expensive. The average pack costs £10 – a colossal waste of money
5. No one cool does it anyone. Steve McQueen and James Dean are long gone
6. Your teeth go more yellow the more you smoke, and yellow teeth truly are hideous
7. If you’re a serious smoker, your fingers will go yellow too
8. Social smoking is now seen as being for wannabes and wannabes only
9. It’s highly addictive, and no one wants that
10. It decreases your libido. Definitely not cool
11. It also has the tendency to cause impotence – also very uncool
12. It (obviously) comes with a host of health issues, lung cancer being the main and most brutal culprit
13. Unless the girl you’re dating is a serious smoker, you’re going to find it hard to find a date. No one likes kissing an ashtray
14. You’re polluting the environment in a huge way
15. Less and less people are doing it, so you’re going to be more and more alone when you step outside
16. You’re contributing to the ridiculous amount of litter on the streets
17. It gives you wrinkles and speeds up the signs of ageing
18. You’re screwing up your bones as well as your organs: if you’re a smoker and you break a bone, it’ll take 70% longer for your body to heal itself than it would if you didn’t smoke
19. You get colder more easily because your circulation is getting screwed up
20. You’re the unsocial one, the one that leaves the table at dinner parties and at the pub, the one that misses out on all the conversations and funny stories because the nicotine couldn’t wait. Don’t be that guy