The Naff Index Winter 2025

It’s the most blunder-full time of the year… First off, let’s address the title of this special edition of the Naff Index, shall we, because one really ought to remove the Yule log from one’s own eye before moving the speck from his brother’s, etc etc. “Holiday”, when used to refer to the Christmas period, is highly naff, unless you happen to be American. (Though being American, except in certain very specific circumstances, is naff by default, so you can’t really win there.) “Hosting”, meanwhile, is also quite naff — the utterance “Oh, we’re hosting this Christmas” now taking on a sort of saintly martyrdom, as if one is welcoming the poor Mary and Joseph themselves into the fold instead of your father-in-law Henry and his very exciting new girlfriend. At the same time, Christmas as an entire concept is undoubtedly naff, now having been sentimentalised and commercialised beyond all reason. (See also: Valentine’s Day; The Cotswolds; marriage). On the other hand, complaining about the commercialisation of Christmas is pretty naff, too — just look at what happened to Ebenezer Scrooge. And so the tightrope of naffness, as ever, requires a very steady head and a fair wind. And precisely the right pair of shoes.

1. Opening champagne with a sword

2. Shoes off indoors

3. “Family style”

4. Pre-batched negronis

5. Negronis

6. Going to South Africa for New Year’s Eve

7. Santa hats in airports

8. Evaluating and comparing High-street Christmas sandwiches