5 things parents of successful kids have in common

Parenting tips from those who have done it best...

Ah, parenthood; one of the most joyous yet terrifyingly complex journeys in life that anyone can embark on. If only it came with a manual. We all develop our own way of raising our children, however the one aspect of parenting that can be agreed on by all parties is that we would like our kids to grow up into prosperous adults. Who’s to know you haven’t created the next generation’s greatest entrepreneur, artist or film director? Below is a list of characteristics that parents of successful individuals share, take a look and maybe take some on board – but don’t forget to throw in some classic dad jokes along the way.

Washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, cleaning the car: these may seem like just banal house tasks, but making sure your kids participate in these types of activities reaps benefits that go beyond you just having a tidy home.

Author of How to Raise an Adult Julie Lythcott-Haims discusses “If kids aren’t doing the dishes, it means someone else is doing that for them… And so they’re absolved of not only the work, but of learning that work has to be done and that each one of us must contribute for the betterment of the whole”. In turn, Lythcott-Haims maintains that kids raised on chores go on to become more collaborative, empathetic workers because they then know firsthand what struggling looks like, and are able to take on tasks independently.

It’s simple; stay chilled and the same mood will be inspired amongst your family. Of course, they’re your children and you want them to succeed, be happy and stay safe; but don’t let that natural desire teeter into obsessive control over every element of their lives. As we all know too well, growing up must involve doing some learning on one’s own, so helicopter parenting notoriously backfires – and will most likely have disastrous results when they become freedom-hungry teenagers.

Every home is fairly chaotic (some days more than others), but also try and keep the stress in your living space to a minimum. Emotional contagion – the psychological phenomenon where people “catch” feelings from one another like they would a cold – is a very real factor, so you’ll often find the calmer you are, the calmer the kids will be.

The independent learning and exploring that children embark on doesn’t come without its obstacles. Even as adults, it’s rare we get things perfect first time round. So it’s important to ensure your kids have a healthy approach to the notion of success (and failure)…

For years, psychologist Carol Dweck has explored the concept that kids think about success in one one of two ways, and Maria Popova of the cross-disciplinary intellect website Brain Pickings has summed up the two methods as below:

A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens that we can't change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.

Try and nurture this ‘growth’ mentality amongst your young ones so that they can find enjoyment in every endeavour.

It may seem like an obvious one, but successful children commonly share close bonds with their mothers and fathers. Before you know it, they’ll be spreading their wings and heading off to spend more of their time with a set of friends that are inevitably cooler than you, so it’s essential that you find a way to establish a good relationship with your offspring before they fly the nest.

An idea supported by various studies, psychologist Lee Raby maintains that “investments in early parent-child relationships may result in long-term returns that accumulate across individuals’ lives”.

Even if you’re not the role model social butterfly, helping your children learn how to positively interact and communicate with others will help them fare far better in life, as proved by a whopping 20-year study completed by Pennsylvania State and Duke universities.

The two institutions tracked more than 700 children from across the US between kindergarten and age 25 and found a significant correlation between their social skills as kindergartners and their success as adults two decades later.

The socially competent children who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own, were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by age 25 than those with limited social skills.Those with limited social skills also had a higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking, and applying for public housing.

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