It’s the ultimate question: does she like me? That and should you put tomato ketchup in the fridge. On the latter the answer is simple: yes, once the bottle is opened.* When it comes to matters of love and attraction, nothing is that straightforward.
You may think her body language suggests she’s interested in you. You may think that she’s laughing more at your jokes than those cracked by others. And you may think that her face lit up a little when you walked into the room (that’ll just be the halogen spotlights). But who can be sure?
So, next time you find yourself fretting over misread signals and what could have been, remember these eleven signs** that she might actually be into you…
Your hands will brush together
Come on, you’ve seen this one in so many romantic comedies that it’s become a cliché. But we all know that at the heart of every romcom is a science-based bible for forming long-lasting loving relationships.
You’ll both be strolling along the street together and your hands will start brushing against one another’s. If it happens once, it’s a mistake. Twice — and she may well want to hold hands and dance off into the sunset together.
She’ll get in touch with you — out of the blue
It’s true what they say: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. So, if she’s ever popped up unannounced on Whatsapp, or given you a call out of the blue, there’s something going on. She’s been thinking of you — and that can only be good news.
If the contact involves a demand for money, the return of a cherished sweater, or sounds like the muffled inside of her Levi jeans – not such a good sign.
She remembers insignificant details about you
If she remembers the little things about you that even your own mother would have trouble recalling, it’s likely that you’re onto a winner. This could be anything from shoe size to that whiskey you said you liked that one time, but the more obscure, the more she’s invested in you.
If she can also draw a cityscape in infinite detail from memory alone, she’s not into you, she’s a quirky – possibly dangerous – genius with a Sherlock-sized mind palace.
She will casually rest her head on your shoulder
The first of the physical signs — and they really are the most confusing, aren’t they? — is a casual resting of her head on your shoulder. She might just be bored or tired, but if she’s using your manly shoulder as a rest it’s a pretty strong indication that she thinks you’re a decent human.
She’ll playfully ruffle your hair
It’s either incredibly annoying, or incredibly endearing depending on who’s doing the ruffling. But, if it’s the girl of your dreams tousling your hair, you’ll likely not be as annoyed as if it’s your new CEO visiting from overseas.
If the ruffling involves a headlock of some variety, this can be considered a dating red flag.
She’ll offer to give you a massage
Well this is a fairly simple one – unless she’s a stranger and you’re in a less salubrious part of town – the offer of a massage may well be a sign she wants to be intimate with you. Best though not to jump to conclusions and instantly remove your smalls. Do the decent thing and let her call the shots.
She’ll — however briefly — touch your knee or thigh
We all know that moment: you’re sitting at the bar together and she playfully brushes or hits your knee. This isn’t – and never will be – the green light to go in for kiss, but it could well be a sign that she isn’t going to pop to the bathroom and not come back.
She’ll whisper something — anything — to you
Don Corleone aside, the use of raspy, breathy tones is rarely a platonic form of communication between star-crossed lovers to be. It requires close proximity, gets her face close to yours and can be deeply seductive.
And if she opts for the left ear, she’s clearly up on her obscure scientific studies too. A paper from the University of Texas showed that emotional words were considered more powerful – and were more accurately recalled later – when delivered to the left ear over the right.
She’ll move her bag off a nearby chair
Be it a clutch or full-size luggage, both men and women use bags like flags to make sure no one invades their territory. So, if she picks up hers when you’re on your way over, she’s either polite or interested, or possibly both. Take a hint and sit down next to her.
She won't notice if it's raining
It could be a monsoon-like downpour but, if she’s standing there looking into your eyes unaware of the inclement weather, not only is she very possibly into you but also trying to re-enact the final scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral. See also buffoonish and down-right dangerous behaviour on a baggage collection belt, and trying to reenact domestic bliss in Ikea.
We all want to be in a romantic movie to some degree, and if she’s pulling out the big gestures, you could be looking at your future other half. Or a weirdly obsessive movie buff. Either is good in our book.
She’ll give you eye contact
It sounds simple — and that’s because it is. If she likes you, she’ll like the look of you. And, if she likes the look of you, she’ll like to look at you. Confused? You shouldn’t be. Just give her a smile and enjoy the deep stare, because she is very much into you… or deeply angry, or having a seizure.
Best just go over to her and do what matters most in any relationship, be interesting, be interested and have a thoroughly decent conversation.
* A fun fact for your next dinner party: in recent years many major brands have removed artificial preservatives form their ketchup, meaning that once opened the bottle should be kept in the fridge.
** It should go without saying a ‘sign that she’s into you’ should never be confused with consent. Be a gentleman, always, and let her call the shots.
Don’t fancy being locked down? This is how to have a successful open relationship…