The Gentleman’s predictions for 2016

2015 was a big year by any standards. Jeremy Clarkson was unceremoniously dumped by the BBC, Tyson Fury took a big right hook to the unblemished legend of Vladimir Klitschko, David Cameron secured an unpredicted majority in the Commons, Prince George acquired a baby sister, Eddie Redmayne bagged an Oscar and Greece was just about spared from bankruptcy. And they were just a smattering of the headlines that sent shockwaves around the country, let alone the world.

As we roll into a new year, The Gentleman’s Journal have taken on the unenviable task of predicting the future, specifically what the next 12 months will hold. It was debated about getting a clairvoyant in but the budget wouldn’t quite stretch to it. So based on minimal, if not no evidence whatsoever, here are The Gentleman’s predictions for 2016:

He’s inexplicably leading the Republican race to the White House but like his hair, Trump’s chances of taking up residence in the Oval Office will fall exceedingly flat. In a campaign that has run like a politically incorrect sitcom, the reality is that will the voting public actually waste a ballot on The Donald? For everyone’s sake we hope not.

2016 will likely be business as usual for Leonardo, rocking a Dadbod, dating his typecast of young blonde swimsuit models and saving the environment one tree at a time; except for the glitzy new addition to his well-stocked trophy cabinet. Yes, 2016 is the year Mr. DiCaprio finally obtains that long-awaited Oscar for his portrayal of Hugh Glass in The Revenant.

Tyson Fury is both the best and worst thing to happen to the heavyweight division in decades. He finally poked Vladimir Klitschko off his perch but did so whilst spouting a slew of hate at every opportunity; somehow keeping his nomination for BBC Sports Personality of the Year (despite being labelled a d*ckhead by the corporation’s own anchor). With a Klitschko rematch imminent and a fight with Deontay Wilder likely, expect Fury to have his face on the floor on more than one occasion.

It’s far to say Jezza C has ruffled more than a few feathers in the New Labour camp and his latest reshuffle has resulted in another swathe of resignations and criticisms, as well as a renewed sense of Corbynmania. His ever widening purge of moderates is dividing the red half of the floor ever more, which can only be good news for Cameron and his cronies. Corbyn’s fate will be the big political story of 2016 and we can’t see it ending happily for the Chippenham man.

Amazon got themselves a coup by snapping up Jeremy, Richard and James. The automotive triumvirate have a bit more gravitas than Evans, Harris and Schmitz, and it hasn’t helped that Chris reportedly “can’t talk and drive”. With big budgets and a creative freedom, expect Amazon’s Top Gear But Not Top Gear to surpass the BBC’s reboot and send Prime subscriptions soaring, at least whilst the series airs that is.

A radically different new iPhone, a new Apple Watch and possibly even a TV, 2016 is the year Apple hits a trillion, dollar valuation that is. The tech behemoth is looming large over every market it sinks its teeth into and some autonomous Apple Car news wouldn’t be too much of a surprise either.

A rare breed of Conservative with a keen sense of environmental awareness, Zac Goldsmith will just pass Sadiq Khan in a close Mayoral race for the top job in London. With a battle largely fought on housing, naturally, expect the Conservative connection and lack of Labour stock to serve the blue candidate well.

No not the Channel 4 reality show but the wider television offering. Netflix has House of Cards returning for its fourth run, as well as a range of new Originals, including a biographical drama about the Royal Family, whilst new Game of Thrones has already been marked in millions’ calendar. Television really is in the Golden Age and it’s only getting better.

Prince George got a baby sister back in May and 2016 will complete the set with royal spawn number three. If not a birth but a Cambridge pregnancy, sending the world into hysteria for a few days and once again when the sprog makes its first appearance out of the ward; only to be forgotten about until Kensington Palace decide to send out a biannual family photo and possibly a mug.

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