5 things she never wants to see you do

There are certain types of men able to get away with acting like a boy. The rule of thumb is, if you have a home, are post-infant stage and are not in a bar with ‘the boys’, then it’s simply not permissible. The art of etiquette is remembering that you are what you do, that your actions will either reflect a refined persona, or reveal the lack of one.

Drink alcohol straight from a bottle or can

When women envisage masculine sophistication it resembles self-control, well-fitting garments, perhaps a familiarity with fine foods and definitely alcohol as a respected companion. Raising a bottle to your lips at a restaurant or soirée literally smacks of bad manners; maintain your decorum by requesting a glass.

Wear trainers with your suit

For men who face arduous commutes into work or who frequent the gym on route, this along with backpacks, has somehow become an acceptable standard of dress. Lest we begin pairing fine wines with plastic beakers and classic cars with budget tyres, it’s worth remembering that suits mean something serious is about to happen, an important occasion, real business.

Wearing trainers on the other hand, unless you’re of elite athlete calibre, symbolises that a situation is likely to become unkempt and perspiration infused. Mixing and matching suit with trainers does not equate to efficiency or living an active but serious life, no. It makes for a confused-looking nine to fiver, grabbing for some semblance of freedom before having to put on real shoes and do some work.

Fear nature

A man can not get by on good looks and manners alone. During the course of your life, nature will surprise you on numerous occasions, from a rogue insect running across your apartment to the first grey hair charging its way forth through a mane of black.

Fighting such occurrences shows less grace than working with them, and fear shows doubt and discomfort in your innate powers as a strong, resourceful man. Shock is fine (as long as there are no screams) but recover fast and make a plan of action. She needs to know that if ever you’re stranded on a desert island, you will build that shelter and tackle unwelcome wildlife.

Use excessive amounts of small change

There is a shape-shifting phenomenon that occurs when watching a man count out small change. In that very moment he appears, depending on his current age, to either become very young or extremely old. It’s not that women expect you to produce a money clip from your jacket or notes wrapped in a rubber band, but ‘trying to get rid of all your change’ in front of them is rarely fun to witness.

Whether she knows you’re a millionaire or genuinely experiencing financial difficulty, the feeling of being mildly unsettled will prevail.

Hold a child like a bag of sugar

You may have just met, you may have been dating for years, it doesn’t matter. When a woman sees you with a child she wants to see someone who is if not willing, then at very least capable. This means not allowing the head to flop, not resting the precious bundle on table-tops or offering it your car keys when you’re told it’s teething.

You don’t have to know what you’re doing, but you have to be comfortable not knowing and refrain from panic. Some people are naturals, some aren’t – whatever the case, go with the flow and don’t let the situation intimidate you.