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Issue 3

Fünf Jobideen für Brooklyn Beckham
In this week's edition of The Friday Five, editor Joseph Bullmore imagines five new careers for Brooklyn Beckham — from US Ambassador to AI billionaire.

Last week, I was one of the few people to notice that a remake of Wuthering Heights had been released in cinemas. The film is the second collaboration between director Emerald Fennell and actor Jacob Elordi — and apparently the whole thing came about when Fennell noticed her leading man’s excellent sideburns on the set of their first outing together, Saltburn, and thought he’d make a great Heathcliffe.
What I thought when I saw that film, however, was ‘doesn’t Jacob Elordi have a surprisingly good public school accent?’ The actor, originally from Brisbane in Australia which is actually nowhere near Sussex, hit a particularly good mid-noughties-Marlborough“mate” throughout. As in, “yes mate”. Or “pub, mate?” Or “what are you doing with that plughole, mate?”
Which got me thinking. What are the other truly great public school accents pulled off by non-English actors — and thus (and listen, you said it, not me) non-public-school-educated actors, of which there must be at least six? It’s not a fashionable question, I know.
Some English people are so English that they are, in fact, Scottish. Some posh Scottish people are so posh and Scottish that they sound, in fact, English. In this adaptation of Evelyn Waugh’s Vile Bodies, James McAvoy (Scottish) puts on a masterful performance as aristo gossip columnist Simon Balcairn (English, but owns half of Scotland): real name ‘Simon, Lord Balcairn, the eighth Earl of Balcairn, Viscount Erdinge, Baron Carn of Balcairn, Red Knight of Lancaster, Count of the Holy Roman Empire and Chenonceaux Herald to the Duchy of Aquitaine.’ His wet-eyed pleading for an invitation to a party from which he has been shunned is particularly spot-on, like a Winchester House boy begging not to be dropped from the Junior Colts A.

Fast rechnet man damit, dass nach der Hälfte von Yorgos Lanthimos’ bissiger Satire über das Liebes- und Hassdreieck zwischen Königin Anne, der Herzogin von Marlborough und Baroness Masham jemand wegen Mobbings vom Internat verwiesen wird. Stone legt darin jenen streberhaften, pferdevernarrten Akzent aus den Home Counties an, den man sonst nur von Schülerinnen aus Tudor Hall kennt, die ihre Herrscherin passenderweise partout nicht mit einem teilen wollen.

Julianne Moores Stimme als trostlose Charley hat diese exquisite, rauchige Färbung eines Mädchens aus Leeds, mit der sie vor dem Sloaney Pony ganz selbstverständlich nach einer „Raily“ schnorren könnte – obwohl ich seit Wochen nicht mehr dort war.

Die Schlacht bei Waterloo mag auf den Sportplätzen von Eton gewonnen worden sein, doch die Luftschlacht um England wurde eindeutig in den Schulkiosken von Harrow entschieden. Lithgow trifft das von hängenden Wangen geprägte Knurren des großen Übervaters Winston Churchill in „The Crown“ bemerkenswert gut – einer Serie über die königliche Familie, die es zu ihrer Ehre schon immer ziemlich gut verstanden hat, so zu tun, als wäre sie nicht deutsch.

„Noch einmal in die Bresche, liebe Freunde, noch einmal!“ Alles klar, Kumpel. Chalamet: Was für ein Tag, Junge.

Previous Issue
Issue 3

In this week's edition of The Friday Five, editor Joseph Bullmore imagines five new careers for Brooklyn Beckham — from US Ambassador to AI billionaire.
Don't miss next week
Get The Friday Five and the week's best stories straight to your inbox.

Last week, I was one of the few people to notice that a remake of Wuthering Heights had been released in cinemas. The film is the second collaboration between director Emerald Fennell and actor Jacob Elordi — and apparently the whole thing came about when Fennell noticed her leading man’s excellent sideburns on the set of their first outing together, Saltburn, and thought he’d make a great Heathcliffe.
What I thought when I saw that film, however, was ‘doesn’t Jacob Elordi have a surprisingly good public school accent?’ The actor, originally from Brisbane in Australia which is actually nowhere near Sussex, hit a particularly good mid-noughties-Marlborough“mate” throughout. As in, “yes mate”. Or “pub, mate?” Or “what are you doing with that plughole, mate?”
Which got me thinking. What are the other truly great public school accents pulled off by non-English actors — and thus (and listen, you said it, not me) non-public-school-educated actors, of which there must be at least six? It’s not a fashionable question, I know.
Some English people are so English that they are, in fact, Scottish. Some posh Scottish people are so posh and Scottish that they sound, in fact, English. In this adaptation of Evelyn Waugh’s Vile Bodies, James McAvoy (Scottish) puts on a masterful performance as aristo gossip columnist Simon Balcairn (English, but owns half of Scotland): real name ‘Simon, Lord Balcairn, the eighth Earl of Balcairn, Viscount Erdinge, Baron Carn of Balcairn, Red Knight of Lancaster, Count of the Holy Roman Empire and Chenonceaux Herald to the Duchy of Aquitaine.’ His wet-eyed pleading for an invitation to a party from which he has been shunned is particularly spot-on, like a Winchester House boy begging not to be dropped from the Junior Colts A.

Fast rechnet man damit, dass nach der Hälfte von Yorgos Lanthimos’ bissiger Satire über das Liebes- und Hassdreieck zwischen Königin Anne, der Herzogin von Marlborough und Baroness Masham jemand wegen Mobbings vom Internat verwiesen wird. Stone legt darin jenen streberhaften, pferdevernarrten Akzent aus den Home Counties an, den man sonst nur von Schülerinnen aus Tudor Hall kennt, die ihre Herrscherin passenderweise partout nicht mit einem teilen wollen.

Julianne Moores Stimme als trostlose Charley hat diese exquisite, rauchige Färbung eines Mädchens aus Leeds, mit der sie vor dem Sloaney Pony ganz selbstverständlich nach einer „Raily“ schnorren könnte – obwohl ich seit Wochen nicht mehr dort war.

Die Schlacht bei Waterloo mag auf den Sportplätzen von Eton gewonnen worden sein, doch die Luftschlacht um England wurde eindeutig in den Schulkiosken von Harrow entschieden. Lithgow trifft das von hängenden Wangen geprägte Knurren des großen Übervaters Winston Churchill in „The Crown“ bemerkenswert gut – einer Serie über die königliche Familie, die es zu ihrer Ehre schon immer ziemlich gut verstanden hat, so zu tun, als wäre sie nicht deutsch.

„Noch einmal in die Bresche, liebe Freunde, noch einmal!“ Alles klar, Kumpel. Chalamet: Was für ein Tag, Junge.

Previous Issue
Issue 3

In this week's edition of The Friday Five, editor Joseph Bullmore imagines five new careers for Brooklyn Beckham — from US Ambassador to AI billionaire.
Don't miss next week
Get The Friday Five and the week's best stories straight to your inbox.