We’ve all been there at least once in our lives, the end of a relationship – no matter how long or short, good or bad it was, getting over an ex can be one of the hardest things in a gentleman’s life. Regardless of whether it was the right thing to do or not, it can seem near impossible to forget about her, get on with your life and move on. As we only ever have your best interests at heart, we’ve compiled a few dos and don’ts for getting over an ex.
Either literally, or via social media. Delete her from your Facebook/Twitter/Instagram etc, there is literally nothing good that will come from having to see pictures of her looking beautiful and happy making the most of her newly found singledom, or worse still with another man. If you find yourself physically stalking her – we’re talking timed run-ins, evening drive-bys (not the gun related kind) etc then maybe you should think about getting help.
TURN TO DRUGS & ALCHOL
Despite what multiple Hollywood films might suggest on the contrary, throwing yourself into a drug and drink fuelled bender will not actually help you get over your ex. No matter how appealing it may seem at the time to indulge in George Jung cocktail of whiskey and cocaine al la Blow it probably won’t help in any way – and you’ll either end up arrested, in rehab or simply feeling more depressed than you were before hand. Take this nice little quote from Mr Frank Sinatra for extra advice – “The cigarettes you light one after another won’t help you forget her.”
Just no. If you don’t trust yourself then delete her number or give your friend your phone when you know you might be having a few drinks. There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a drunk call from an ex.
EMBARRASS YOURSELF WITH PUBLIC DECLARATIONS OF LOVE
Ok, so maybe you don’t think the break-up was for the best, maybe in fact you were the one who ruined it and yes, sometimes trying to win her back with big gestures can work, but forget what the rom-coms taught you and remember that the guys who win back their exes with the public declarations or grand gestures are the exception…not the rule.
Yes, anger is one of the stages of post break up emotions, and it’s perfectly acceptable to feel said anger, but try not to act upon it. Abusive emails, phone calls, confrontations will win you no friends, she’ll start to hate you and begin to resent the relationship ever existing, which is a shame. Better to deal with a break-up in a dignified fashion and turn the anger into exercise or something a little more proactive than burning all bridges with your ex, and no doubt, her friends and family – you never know when you might need them in the future.
STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF
If Friends is anything to go by then you should allow yourself no more than 3 – 7 days worth of self pity and misery. Post this, you should be accepting the break-up and getting on with your life. Yes, of course you may still be devastated inside, but keep this to yourself and put on a brave face. The more you start acting like you’re ok, the more you will actually to start to feel it.
SHOW HER WHAT SHE’S MISSING
Get back in the gym. Get a new hair cut. Buy a few new wardrobe essentials. Anything to improve your physical appearance will not only have you feeling better about yourself, but if you ever run into her, post a picture, see one of her friends, then you want to be looking your very best. Not necessarily to win her back, but as manipulative as it may sound, there’s no better feeling than showing someone exactly what they are missing out on!
BE A LITTLE BIT SELFISH
Being in a relationship means compromise – all the time. Whether that took the form of having to miss ‘boy’s night’ to go on a double date, or forgoing football on the weekend to have brunch with her parents, now it is time to be a little bit selfish again. Do what you want to do, when you want to it and don’t feel remotely bad about it. If there’s a holiday you’ve wanted to go on, or a new activity you wanted to take up then now is that time.
GET RID OF THE REMINDERS
Don’t go all teen-movie on us and burn anything that reminds you of her – you never know when you might want to fondly look back, but do be sure to clear it all away – including photos, letters, mementos and personal possessions. Put it all in a box (literally and metaphorically) and hide it away somewhere.
We are not suggesting you jump straight back into another relationship – this is neither healthy for you, or kind to whoever the ‘rebound’ is, but as crude as it may seem the famous quote “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else” often can be just what you need to get over her.