DATING – Reasons Why Honesty Isn’t Always The Best Policy

Clearly there are times when honesty is the best policy, if you’re under oath, sure it might be advised to tell the truth in this particular situation. But if you simply have an uncontrollable desire to reel off every bad thing you have ever done in your life, well, you can save that for your shrink, your bathroom mirror, your priest or any one of the inanimate objects in your closest vicinity, but don’t, whatever you do, tell your girlfriend.

Yes, honesty is good. Obviously. But to anyone who says “honesty is always the best policy”? No, sorry, but I simply can’t agree with you on this one. Most of the time? Sure, but always? Please, give it a rest, you’re not fooling anyone, and if you really are that honest then congratulations because you’ve no doubt scored yourself a great deal of enemies and hurt a hell of a lot of feelings along the way. When it comes to relationships, of course you must be honest with each other…80% – 90% of the time. We all know that relationships are built on trust, and trust comes from honesty, blah, blah, blah…but please, for the sake of harmony and peace in both your relationship and the world around you, have a read of these few little reasons why and when honesty might just not be the best policy after all.

And when I say “most people”, what I really mean is that most women can’t handle the truth. “Be honest with me…”, “just tell me the truth”…all things women say and you hear on a regular basis, but realistically, how often do we actually like what we hear? As a woman I can tell you – 99% of the time we’d rather not have heard it. The fact is, we probably know the truth already and hearing it from a man hurts an awful lot more than from a best friend or, indeed, ourselves. If you’re still thinking you should be honest with your girlfriend if she asks you if she’s put on weight, if she looks good that day, or if her newly cropped hair makes her look like a man as opposed to the cute pixie look she was going for? Just bear in mind that women will remember and hang on to an insult an awful lot longer than they will a compliment. Gentlemen, you have been warned.

If you were ever unlucky enough to watch The Invention of Lying (definitely one of Ricky Gervais’ top three worst life decisions, pipped to the post only by his Golden Globes MC skills – or lack there of), but if anything can be gained from those 2 hours of my life that I will never get back, it shows you a glimpse of what the world would be like if no one ever lied. That certainly isn’t a world I want to be a part of. Imagine walking down the street and having a stranger tell you they hated your shoes – not the best start to your day, surely? The same goes for relationships, if you don’t like her brother – that’s probably best left unsaid, her mother’s cooking – the same, her new dress – if you want to leave with all your limbs intact then, please god, just leave it unsaid.

So you went to a strip club for your brother’s stag-do, you had a lap dance and you’re feeling a little guilty? Man up, swallow the guilt and shut your mouth. It’s not like you have “feelings” for the busty young woman with the fake name, so why hurt your girlfriend’s feelings unnecessarily. Yes, it will upset her that you went, but that’s normal and, quite frankly, she’d much rather hear that you and the boys all had a jolly good time at a country pub and leave it at that.

Obviously, if you’re in a relationship of 3 years, and you start up an affair with your secretary, firstly – well done for fulfilling the world’s worst cliché, and secondly, this probably is the time to be honest with your actual girlfriend, not to mention yourself. However, if you’re in the early throws of a relationship, unsure of quite what the status of said relationship is, or where it’s going, then there is simply no need to tell her about the random girl you hooked up with after your 3rd date. You feel guilty about it? Man up! You made your bed now lie in it, so to speak.

By Holly Macnaghten 

Twitter: @HollyMacnaghten



Holly Macnaghten is the Fashion Director at The Gentleman's Journal

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