10 items of men’s clothing that should never have been made

So often we will tell you that what really matters in life is your personality, your charm and gentlemanly etiquette. But when it really comes down to it, quick wit won’t hide your shiny shirt from burning our eyes. And that cracking sense of humour? Well I’m sorry to say, but it’s not distracting us from those monstrosities on your feet. In short, no amount of quick wit and boyish charm can make up for any of these 10 items of clothing that should never have been made.

1. CROCS

If we have to explain why these should never have been made, then you’re already far too gone for us to help I’m afraid.

2. SHELL SUITS

Wearing something more flammable than Britain’s largest petrol station is not only decidedly stupid, but also rather dangerous. You have been warned.

3. DOUBLE-COLLARED POLO SHIRTS

No one really knows who to point the finger of blame at on this one – but the real question isn’t who, it’s why? Are you trying to show us that you’re so wealthy you can afford not one, but two polo shirts? Well, it’s not working. Sorry. In fact, you look more like Joey in Friends when he wears Chandler’s entire wardrobe than you do a preppy rich kid.

4. WALLET CHAINS

Why? Just why? They serve no apparent service to anyone besides causing irritating clinking noises for anyone within a 5-metre radius of you. Don’t pretend that they help you hold onto your wallet – if you, a full grown man, are incapable of looking after something as important a possession as your own wallet then it might be time to rethink your life choices.

5. SHINY BLACK “GOING OUT” SHIRTS

Sorry in advance to the entire cast of Jersey Shore, but there are few things more likely to repel the whole of womankind than this.

6. DEEP V-NECK T-SHIRTS

Yet again, it’s those Jersey Shore boys flying the traitorous flag for this crime against fashion (and humanity). If we wanted to see your pecks we’d go to a beach, not a nightclub.

7. ZIP TROUSER-CUM-SHORTS

Do you want to wear shorts, or do you want to wear trousers? Make up your mind goddamit! Can someone really be so indecisive that they can’t choose between the two?

8. MESH SHIRTS

Sexy on women? Sure. Sexy on men? God no. Do the world a favour and burn them all now gents.

9. SHUTTER SUNGLASSES

If you’re taking fashion advice from Kanye then you’ve got your priorities wrong. Shutter sunglasses should never have been invented and most certainly never worn.

10. DIAMONTE BELT BUCKLES

Added loss of respect if this comes embossed upon words such as “PLAYER” or “BLING”.