Once and for all, this is the right way to…
Etiquette— 5 days
Women don’t often know what they want. And, before you start shouting chauvinism, think about it: it’s true. From what to wear, to where to go for dinner, dating can be a battle of indecisiveness. But, even if the fairer sex have issues when it comes to pinpointing exactly what they do want, they have no problem identifying what they don’t.
There are traits and mannerisms of men, across the board, that send shudders down the collective spine of womenkind. So, in the spirit of watching each other’s bachelor backs, here are the top irksome issues you should be addressing.
And, if you don’t believe our authority, don’t worry. We’ve turned to Jo Barnett, one of Britain’s leading relationship coaches, for her own unique take on the five worst qualities women see in men.
You know when to hold the door open, and you’ve even got offering your jacket down to a fine art, but turning into a neanderthal when food is placed in front of you is a perennial problem with men. That means no chewing with your mouth open, elbows off the table and holding your cutlery in the correct hands – at the very least.
"If a man can't even eat nicely, she will be worried about introducing him to friends..."
“Women look at the way men conduct themselves at the table, and this tells them if they are going to be tidy and ordered in wider life,” says Jo Barnett. “If a man can’t even eat nicely, she will be worried about taking him out and introducing him to friends and family. Your partner is a reflection of you and, in that respect, every woman want to be with someone who can represent her well.”
No matter how light-hearted or jovial the intent, joking at the expense of women is one of the most unattractive qualities a man can display. With recent revelations especially, you should know that this time of behaviour is completely unacceptable – something Jo Barnett agrees with.
“Men making chauvinistic comments is a big turn off,” says the relationship expert. “It will give the impression that you think that women should be banished to the kitchen, tied into an old-fashioned apron. Women, as in life, want equality in a partner and not to be treated as though they are the ones to take of domestic chores and fall into stereotypical roles. Men should be respectful and supportive of women.
If you think you’re engaging and charismatic, you’re likely not. You’re the sort of person who will nod and furrow your brow thoughtfully for the first 30 minutes of a date to give her the impression of interest – and then, when given a chance, launch into a night-long monologue about yourself. It’s an enduring problem.
"Women, as in life, want equality in a partner..."
“If a guy is disinterested in you at the beginning, it’s not a great sign,” says Barnett. “It means that your date will likely only go downhill from there. Women want to be with someone who is as interested in them and who can give their full attention while she is talking. Without a man’s attention, a women can feel neglected and unloved. In short, she will not be able to have a satisfying relationship.”
You’re confident, great. It’s no secret that women love confidence, but gents, do not mistake your blatant arrogance for confidence. It’s a fine line, sure, but one that should be observed regularly and carefully. Just listen to our relationship expert’s tips.
“Men who appear too arrogant or over confidence are a real turn, off as a woman knows that he will always be putting his own needs first. It’s not an attractive quality in a man as we don’t need to hear bragging and peacocking all the time.
“Much better is to be subtle with your achievements and assets; let them be noticed and complimented on naturally rather than constantly seeking social approval.”
But don’t take it too far. Clam up and self-deprecate too heavily and you’ll not only worry her, but make yourself look pathetic. Don’t get us wrong, being quiet or shy can be mysterious and endearing – but those who fluster when asked a question, or stay in the kitchen at parties are not the most attractive prospective partners. Allow Jo Barnett to explain.
"If a man feels or looks socially awkward, it makes the woman feel awkward..."
“A woman wants a man who will be her equal and represent her well. So, if a man feels or looks socially awkward, it makes the woman feel awkward. She will be unable to relax and be herself. Men who feel socially awkward need to learn a few basic skills that will help get them by and they can always fake it till they make it.
“Things like eye contact and body language are so important when making a first impression. Remember, unfortunately there is not much forgiveness in dating!”