We’ve all been there with that person that you are so into that you don’t even realise that she has well and truly friend-zoned you. But she’s so attentive and tactile with you, you say? Well, gentlemen, this might just be a surefire sign that you are treading water in the sexual purgatory that is the friend-zone.
So here’s a list of signs to take note of, so the next time you’re on a first (or second) date, you may just remember this article and come to a mutual conclusion…
1. You contact her to organise drinks or dinner and she invites your entire friendship group along
If this happens and you didn’t mutually agree upon this, you’ve got sign number one on your hands. Take matters into your own hands, as this could also be an opportune moment for you to be a fine gentlemen in front of her friends – an interesting quality she will no doubt admire.
2. She's more than happy for you to see her in gym kit and no make-up
Honestly, even the most low-maintance of girls wouldn’t let someone she was interested in see her in this way before you were at least securing out of the friend zone.
3. She rings you on a regular basis 'just for a chat'
No girl actually trying to turn a friend into boyfriend would be so keen to call on such a regular basis (and if she’s calling you about a date she’s been on, or advise about another guy, then you’re firmly in the friend zone territory already).
4. She talks openly to you about boys she's attracted to and her ex
No, this is not a manipulative womanly way of making you jealous (we’re not that unsubtle), she just genuinely wants to tell you about it…because you’re her friend.
5. She's completely comfortable sharing a bed with you and/or spooning
Unless you get the ‘bottom wiggle’ (you’ll know it when you get it), be assured that she just wants a cuddle – in a totally non-sexual way.
6. You've made a pact that if you're not married by 40, you two will get married
If she actually liked you she wouldn’t even dream of mentioning marriage, and she’s basically just saying “If I’m alone with my just cats at 40 let’s just married. Like, as a total last resort, so neither of us have to die alone.”
7. She has no problem getting changed in front of you
No no…she isn’t trying to seduce you, she just genuinely doesn’t mind you seeing her in underwear or even naked, much like she wouldn’t care if her female friends saw her.
8. You find yourself consoling her after a breakup
No, you are not her knight in shining armour, she just wants to cry and talk it out – exactly like she would with a girlfriend.
9. She's ever said that you are 'like a brother to her'
10. She tells you how perfect you are...for someone else
“You’d be amazing with my friend Lucy” or “Oh my god, I want to introduce you to Alice, you guys would be so sweet together”…despite what you may think, she isn’t fishing for you to ask her out instead, she genuinely wants to set you up with these people. But take it like a gentleman, and accept it.
11. She's always hugging you, openly asking you to pay her attention, stroke her hair, tickle her back or give her a massage
Despite what you might otherwise think, every woman in the world has had the mantra “treat ’em mean – keep ’em keen” instilled in them from an early age, so if she’s really been this affectionate, the likelihood is that she’s just so comfortable with your friendship that she knows there is literally nothing sexual or suggestive about it.
And so there you have it: if you find yourself in any of the above situations, let us warmly welcome you to your seats as you, dear friend, have been well and truly friend zoned.