As a magazine intent on providing you with all the most gentlemanly of information; from classic cars and stunning yachts to exclusive travel retreats and high-end designer brands, we feel that it is our responsibility to educate you in all aspects of a modern gentleman’s life. It is time therefore, that we feel we should broach the subject of Sex. Yes, we said it. Whether deemed gentlemanly or not, in the spirit of St Valentine it’s time we tackled the subject that, (let’s be honest), rarely leaves a man’s mind. So, to kick things off with a bang (no pun intended), we thought we’d impart some of wisdom on how to spice up said sex life.
The longer a relationship has been going on, the more likely your sex life is to suffer. Breaking news, right? No matter the situation or circumstances, with the dreaded ‘Valentine’s Day’ just around the corner, we’ve come up with a few simple ways that you and your partner can spice things up. Nothing too graphic of course, we are after all The Gentleman’s Journal, and we all know that a Gentleman never tells, but everyone needs a little discreet advice every now and and again…
While most ‘sexy’ text messages have about as much appeal as a dry-hump, there is indeed a way that you can make them work. Don’t go all X-Rated on your innocent iPhone, but try instead texting her about a memorable time you had sex – ‘I can’t stop thinking about that time on the beach* in Mexico*’ ought to do the trick. Or a similar, innuendo-ridden one liner that’s personal to the two of you.
*insert relevant time & place before she thinks you’re cheating
2. MASTER THE ART OF THE ‘QUICKIE’
We’re not talking mid-dishwasher loading or in the midst of an argument over taking out the bins, but don’t underestimate the impact of the element of surprise. If your sex life is more akin to attending double history on a Friday afternoon at school, than it is 50 Shades of Grey, it might be time to add some surprise. Grab her the moment you walk through the door after work, or even when she’s just stepped out of the shower. She’ll thank you later.
3. ROLE PLAY
Nothing embarrassing, but this really can be the best way to spice up your sex life. Tell her what you want to do or indeed who you want be and ask her what she wants. Then all you need to do is set it up – from meeting at a bar with different names to playing it safe at home with a bit of ‘dress up’, this is guaranteed to get things back on track in the bedroom.
4. THE GIFT OF GIVING
We’re not saying you have to spend a fortune (although she probably wouldn’t complain if you did), but leave a beautifully wrapped box at the end of her bed for when she gets home with lingerie inside is sure to put the fire back into the bedroom. Alternatively send flowers to her office with a suggestive note and you’ll be on her mind all day.
5. LEAVE HER A REMINDER
If your sex life is becoming predictable, try spritzing her bedsheets with your aftershave when you leave in the morning, or even better if you’re out of town for a few days. Smell is proven to be the biggest evocation of memory of all our senses, a little reminder of what she has to look forward to will keep things fresh.
6. EXPLORE NEW AREAS
Sex should be a discovery not a destination. Explore new areas and regions to find optimum sensation central – from the base of her spine to ears and neck.
If you’ve ever had a fantasy about sex (and what self respecting man hasn’t?) then a sexual rut is the perfect time to make the fantasy a reality.
8. ADD A LITTLE DANGER
Adrenaline is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs there is. Bungy-jumping, rock-climbing, or even just sex in a public place where you might get caught is enough to bid farewell to every couples dry spell.
9. GO ‘TOY-SHOPPING’ TOGETHER
No, not for god-children or siblings, we’re talking grown-up shopping. It doesn’t have to be the Soho kind of shop, you can keep it to on-line if you like, but a little added fun in the bedroom is no bad thing.
10. LAY DOWN SOME RULES
If your social or working calenders are so jam packed that sex really has become as rare as a stylish mullet then maybe it’s time to lay down the rules. Pick in a night in your calender and make sure you both keep it free, maybe turn it into an entire date night – book a restaurant or have a car collect you both.