There is a direct correlation between ‘nice guys’ and the friend-zone. That, gentlemen, is a fact. Women just don’t date nice guys, or at least they don’t think they want to date nice guys. Women like to date a ‘bad boy’ because he is the ultimate challenge, a challenge to get and and challenge to keep. Why, you might ask, would a women want such a dysfunctional dating lifestyle and subsequent relationship? Well, because women are bizarre creatures and the reason I know that is because I am one. Of course we like guys to be nice, but we don’t want them to be the nice guy. So, in our quest to help your love life, we wanted to lay out 10 reasons why women might be viewing you as the ‘nice guy’, the best-friend or the brother-like shoulder to cry on and not as the kind of guy that women want to date.
A word of warning before we get started though, if you think you’re the nice guy – then you’re probably not. If you’ve ever described yourself as too-nice, then you’re definitely not. These are the kind of men who are already firmly in arsehole territory and we see straight through those pitiful eyes and the fake BS that comes out of your mouth. The real nice guys are the ones that don’t even realise that this is the reason for their infinite single-dom. Have a think and work this one out: are you the gentleman holding a door open so a girl can walk through the entrance to a restaurant? Or are you the nice guy who throws himself against the door and lets the girl through as well as the group of lurking men behind her and even introduce them to said girl? That’s the difference that matters.
On to the important stuff now, our 10 reasons why women might be viewing you as the ‘nice guy’…
Nice guys try to fix and take care of a girls problems – this is what her girlfriends are for (over a glass of wine and a soppy movie) and not what she wants from a potential date – that comes later.
2. COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING SINGLE
Word travels fast gentlemen, and if a woman knows that you want a girlfriend then you lack the challenge appeal that all women are drawn to.
3. COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING IN THE FRIEND-ZONE
If you can’t be friends with a woman without resenting the fact that you’re not in the “sex-zone”, then you’ve got yourself a problem.
4. SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS
Doing the ‘right’ thing might sound great, but it sends instant signals to women that you lack spontaneity and that you over-analyse situations rather than acting on raw instinct.
5. BEING EMOTIONALLY DEPENDANT ON YOUR OTHER HALF
Women want a boyfriend, not a rescue puppy. If you’ve ever been dumped and heard those immortal words, “you’re just too nice, you deserve better”, then you’re definitely the nice guy and what she really meant when she said that was that she was bored of constantly feeling guilty for not being as ‘nice’ as you – a little bit of fire and drama never hurt any relationship.
6. BEING TOO EAGER TO PLEASE
Girls absolutely love a guy who’s nice, of course they do. But they definitely don’t like a guy who goes overboard in trying to please them all the time, especially if they’re not in a relationship already. A regular guy can still be nice to a girl, but the nice guy almost always ends up looking desperate and too eager to please.
7. DATING/APPROACHING ONLY 1 WOMAN AT A TIME
It’s a numbers game. Not everyone you chat up or ask out will say yes, so the more you try the higher your success rate will be. We’re not saying you should be sleeping with hundreds of women at once, but when it comes to actually approaching women at bars then your best bet is to keep your options open. Claiming that you’re too nice to chat-up or date one girl at a time = lower success rate. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
8. BEING DESPERATE
“I just want a girlfriend, someone to look after and take-care of”. Grab us the sick-bowl, no one wants to hear that. Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone, especially not the guy trying to bag himself a girlfriend.
9. BEING INSECURE
Nice guys tend to lack a bit of self-respect. Insecurity is one of the biggest red lights when it comes to dating, regular guys are happy to laugh at themselves and are modest in their appeal, but they would never let themselves be pushed around, or put themselves down.
10. TRYING TOO HARD
Be a gentlemen by all means – that’s an attribute that will never go out of style, but if you’re crossing the boundary into nice guy territory then it can come across as false. You need to be natural in your behaviour, or she’ll have you down as a phoney in no time.