Most classic car rallies are not ‘competitive’ but put two hundred overpowered classic cars on exceptional traffic-free roads and have them driven by men with long-held childhood ambitions of driving like James Bond – there’s bound to be some racing. However, even the unruly have rules; here’s what you need to know about etiquette before you hit the road this weekend.
RULE 1: USE SEASONS AS VERBS, , The rallying crowd is knows no class barrier and although owning a classic car is a luxury that not all can afford, the sort of people and cars on the tarmac will be fairly diverse. The best way to fit in is to employ seasons as verbs when talking about holidays, throw in a “I’ll be summering in Capri” and no one will be any wiser as to which car you’re driving, or where you’re from.
RULE 2: MASTER THE WAVE, , Amongst fellow rallyistes (the official term for rally participants) there’s a certain camaraderie which manifests itself in the knowing waves given to other competitors. It’s a sort of papal point combined with a knowing look across the top of your vintage sunglasses. Get practising.
RULE 3: DRESSING, , Shorts are generally frowned upon, so you’ll need to opt for a light jean or chino. On top, cotton shirts are the go-to choice, especially during the colder mountain stages, with linen taking over as the convoy nears the Mediterranean. Driving gloves – string-backed, suede or leather – are wholeheartedly embraced.
RULE 4: CHECKPOINTS, , Although the Check Points that punctuate the stages may seem like they’re intended to monitor your progress and discourage cheating, they’re actually just for talking shop with other drivers and indulging in important debates about vintage parts as you nibble on cured meats. This is known as ‘tyre kicking’ and should be entered into at any opportunity.
RULE 5: SPEED AND DECORUM , , All men have one thing in common, we all think we’re better drivers than we actually are, but this phenomenon is rarely more easily observed than on a rally. With that in mind, when you’re tailed by a Ferrari Testarossa through a perilous sequence of over-hangs, rock-hewn tunnels and long sweeping s-bends in a chase reminiscent of Goldeneye, be the bigger man. Move aside, employ the ‘rally wave’ and let him be on his way. Once at the end of the stage he’ll probably come and find you, compliment you on you sportsmanship before accompanying you to the champagne bar to talk watches.
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