As soon as I woke up I was suspicious. A flick of my iPhone confirmed my worst fears – it was 10:30am, on a Thursday. I had a series of missed calls and a banging headache. In fact my whole body hurt – skidding-down-a-sandpaper-slide-into-a-pool-of-vinegar kind of hurt.
Hang. Over.
I was suddenly very awake, in a blind panic jumping out of bed like a stabbed rat, then bolting to the Tube, tucking in my shirt as I ran, resigned to the fact that I was in for an almighty rollicking when I eventually made it to the office. There was no excuse – none that would work anyway. I was going to be as much use as a chocolate teapot once at my desk – my colleagues would surely notice. That’s if they somehow managed to see past my bloodshot eyes, the distinct smell of the pub spill trough hovering over me like flies to sewage and the hint of ashtray on my breath. Oh, and of course the fact that they’ve already been working for 2 hours while I’ve been dreaming about putting a saddle on a lion and roaming the Serengeti in search of prey (I have odd dreams after a night out). Remind me why drinking is fun?
Now, you don’t need a PhD to know that this isn’t the best way to deal with a hangover. My gentlemanliness was left in bed as I sat there offending all within earshot and eyesight. Not my finest few hours. Here’s what I should have done…
TAKE YOUR TIME
I may be late, but I really should have taken the time to have a shower, brush my teeth, check I had a matching pair of socks on, do something about the bird’s nest clinging onto my scalp and address the crinkles in my shirt. It’s one thing to be late, but it’s another to be late and look like crap.
USE THE RIGHT PRODUCTS
There are hoards of products out there claiming to save you from the certain death that follows a heavy night out, but few actually can. There are, however, a select few that can give your body and face a much-needed lift. Take advantage of them – get them in your cupboard now and be prepared. For 5 of the best on the market, click here.
DON’T WHINGE/BE A GROUCH
No one likes the guy who whines about his head every 3 minutes, detailing how many vodka red bulls he downed with the lads and how he partied so late that the sun was rising as he turned in for the night. You may feel like you’ve been fed through a log chopper, but that’s no excuse to be a twat. Deal with it like a man, a man without sense but etiquette at the very least.
ACCEPT YOUR COMEUPPANCE
You’re late. Your boss doesn’t pay you to swan in 3 hours late and sleep behind your desktop, so he/she is fully within their right to give you a piece of what for. Take it on the chin. And don’t argue back – you’re probably still drunk.
EAT PROPERLY
You are a car, a clamped out banger in need of fuel as you limp from A-B. Without energy you will wilt like a rose without water. Talking of which, keep the H2O flowing – add a Phizz (the perfect pocket sized hangover cure to rehydrate and replenish the body of vitamins and minerals) if you have any to hand. Everyone has their own method – mine is salt & vinegar crisps and lucozade. Here are a few other suggestions to give you a helping hand.
USE YOUR LUNCH BREAK WISELY
Go for a walk, grab a Bloody Mary, delete the embarrassing photos from last night of you licking the waitress’ face – whatever helps you become less of a useless toad.
REMEMBER, IT WILL END
It may feel like it, but you aren’t going to die. Tomorrow you’ll feel right as rain, back to your usual bubbly self. So pull it together. It’s only a day.
Become a Gentleman’s Journal Member?
Like the Gentleman’s Journal? Why not join the Clubhouse, a special kind of private club where members receive offers and experiences from hand-picked, premium brands. You will also receive invites to exclusive events, the quarterly print magazine delivered directly to your door and your own membership card.
