5 style crimes I saw on the way to work this morning

My morning commute, like millions of others, is often made up of a dreary early morning train ride followed by a sardine can of a Tube journey. That, or a seat on a sluggish bus meandering through London’s traffic at a rate of knots a snail wouldn’t be all that proud of. Either way, both leave plenty of time for people watching, and frankly, the views are rather despairing. At some point, the typical male commuter has, by the looks of it, given up. His sartorial savvy cut off at the knee and left to fester; one hasty glimpse around the train carriage and the wardrobe woes are innumerable and thoroughly unforgiving. For men who run the corporate world, manage millions in finances or uphold the law, the presentation is, by any measure, pretty poor. These were the 5 that particularly caught the eye, for all of the wrong reasons.

The athletic shoe

RobertDowneyJR-Ian West:PA Wire-The-Gentlemans-Journal

(Source: Ian West/PA Wire)

This isn’t a gripe with trainers – I’m the last person to start sportswear bashing – but when a battered old pair of discoloured New Balance make it onto your feet alongside your boardroom suit, we have issues. Surely it’s not a proud moment when you stride through your place of work in a suit and freshly pressed shirt accompanied by a pair of hole-ridden technical sports shoes. It simply screams: “I’ve given up.” There’s not one person you’ve encountered today who’s been left with a wholly positive impression due to your choice of footwear. You’re not in school anymore, start wearing grown up shoes to and from the office – you never know who you’re going to run into before you reach your desk.

Trouser pools

JamesCorden-PA Images Ian West:PA Wire-The-Gentlemans-Journal copy

(Source: PA Images/Ian West/PA Wire)

If there’s anything that ruins appearances faster than the aforementioned tailoring and trainer combination, it’s trousers that are a good few inches too long, leaving your ankles swimming in an ocean of fabric. That pooling at the hem is due to you purchasing a 32″ long when you should have opted for a 32″ regular. Fortunately, it’s easily rectifiable – a tailor can take those hems up for the cost of a day’s lunch. Worth the investment. The trousers should sit just on top of the shoe’s laces, not drown them.

Dark shirts

RobertDowneyJR-Junko Kimura:Getty Images-The-Gentlemans-Journal

(Source: Junko Kimura/Getty Images)

If there’s one rule of menswear that’s 100% ironclad, it’s that your shirt should always be lighter than the tie, hence why dark shirts, especially in the day, are a no-go zone. That dark navy (or worse, black shirt) is just not working as office appropriate. This mistake is amplified when the dark shirt is complimented with a bright tie. A silver tie and black shirt anyone? It wasn’t ok even back at your school prom, let alone now you’re the breadwinner. Ditch the dark shirts and fill out your wardrobe with white, light blue and even salmon pink options instead.

Sloppy ties

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There’s a lot more thought that needs to go into a tie then if it compliments your shirt colour.

The width of the tie shouldn’t be too much bigger or smaller then your jacket’s lapel, also your knot shouldn’t be too extreme. Ideally it’s fitting nicely between your shirt’s collar; a four-in-hand or half windsor often does the job. With that in mind, ensure it’s tightened fully, rather then left dangling limply and exposing the top buttons of your shirt. Real sartorial pros will have a subtle dimple as the knot transitions to blade.

Finally, the length needs to end at your belt also, not extending past or sitting at your naval; something else that should have ended when you picked up your GCSE results. And it if wasn’t already clear, novelty ties are never acceptable, ever.

Bad bags

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(Source: Primatage)

Details matter, as we just discussed, but none are more glaring than the ugly commuter bag and there are many. The backpack is in vogue, but let’s be fair, the black, shapeless, scratchy fabric options aren’t doing you any favours when they’re pulling your suit every which way. Not to mention, annoying every other person you’re currently sharing a train carriage with as you do your best impression of a certain shelled reptile; take it off for God’s sake. Then there’s the laptop bags cut from the same nondescript, uninspiring cloth. Invest in a decent briefcase or holdall and start looking like an actual professional.

How to commute in style:

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