20 Signs That You Are Officially An Adult
Nothing upset me more as a child than the fact that no one had worked out how to make Peter Pan and his fairytale life a genuine reality. Several decades later, I am still saddened by this fact. Seriously though, they’ve sent man to the moon, created Google contact lenses and yet still, still….no one has found a cure for ageing? Botox doesn’t count by the way.
Aside from ever increasing wrinkles, greying hairs and a genuine rusty-feeling in our bones, there are several (non physical) signs that you are officially an adult and these are 20 of those signs…
1. You own ‘guest towels’
2. If a female friend or partner tells you they are pregnant you say ‘congratulations‘, not ‘oh shit’
3. Your weekly shop includes any of the following: washing powder, fairy liquid, lightbulbs, bin bags etc
4. …You do a weekly shop
5. You either have, or are thinking of getting, a dog (obviously, does not include the family dog)
6. You have back pains
7. You buy and read the Sunday paper
8. You hold dinner parties with all 3 courses and the focus is genuinely on the food and conversation, not on its inevitable decline into drinking games and dancing on the table
9. Sleep is your best friend, not something you avoid at all costs with extra-curriculas and ‘open-till-7am-nightclubs’
10. …anything after 11:00pm is deemed a ‘late night’ during the week
11. You Recycle
12. Younger people ask you for genuine advice and help with work and relationship matters (as if you actually know)
13. Shopping for ‘the home’ is more thrilling than for yourself
14. Staying in on the weekend is not uncool, it is a perfectly acceptable way to spend a Friday or Saturday night
15. You own a cheese board and desert wine glasses
16. Your house plants are still alive
17. You wake up in time to make coffee and breakfast before work
18. You take days off work to ‘catch up on errands’ and do ‘house work’
19. You are the one making noise complaints on your street, not the one causing them
20. You not only actually understand what your parents meant when they said, “You’ll understand when you’re older”, but you’ve actually said it yourself.
…Still don’t understand? Don’t worry, you will when you’re older.
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